Me: Even for women who will be dead within the hour? Seriously, I know my time is up. Nurse: Burst out laughing and said: “We don’t supply heroin, but I can put in an order for a pain killer. I know someone here can supply me with a dealer and a massage. I know I am going to die within the hour, so I am entitled to heroin and a massage. Nurse: (Cracks a smile and looks back down at her endless bureaucratic paperwork). Who can get me some heroin? And a foot massage.

Already bored out of my mind and uncomfortable, fever setting in, I had to use my strongest weapon to get me through this harrowing tribulation–HUMOR. Some looked inbred, some baby mommas with MIA baby daddies and some drunk, gaunt men with ripped tshirt covered in blood, who possibly passed out in front of a sports bar.Īn hour went by before I was placed on a gurney and deposited in front of the nurses’s station awaiting a private ER room. The dump where I arrived has long wait times, understaffed and a waiting room with a medley of characters. I am used to going to one which is 50 minutes away which I refer to as a “country club” because the food is palatable, run efficiently, affiliated with Columbia Presbyterian (one of America’s best hospitals) and where I can expect a private room. I arrived at the hospital 15 minutes from my home one that doesn’t have a high rating according to many of my friends. All color drained from my face, I felt light headed and immediately knew I would be composing a dirge in the back of an ambulance. I have little feeling in my legs and consequently woke up to a sequoia sized purple hued leg. I didn’t know it was broken until the next morning. Just as I was about to transfer back to my wheelchair, I fell and broke the femur in my right leg.

Last week, the cloak of caution was eaten by moths in the middle of the night. In the US, roughly 18,000 Americans die every year from accidental injuries which take place in the home. Usually, I am a cautious person, carefully navigating around my house to avoid mishaps.

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